I am not a fan of Math.
I don’t like it. Not at all.
Now, I have the highest respect for all those who take joy in solving for ‘x‘, or those who know what p or q to look for.
But I do not like Math. Not one bit.
For those of you who don’t know (which is most of you, I’m guessing), I have to take Math 11 this summer – basic college algebra – because I was not able to get it as a class for the last school year. A series of very unfortunate events and an adviser who took no pity on me, lead me to the option….
…the necessity, of taking it this summer. HAHA! So yes, I have summer class.
I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, considering, I haven’t taken Math for an entire year already. Well, I am excited to announce that my reality has finally skyrocketed my expectations. Sadly, it’s not in the good way. I was totally floored when the first long exam came because I felt like I couldn’t understand anything. The problems all looked so different. And while I am sure that I had a bit of math-anxiety while answering, I am also very, very sure that the reason why I could not answer most of the problems was because I had not studied well.
I only have myself to blame. Habits formed in highschool are quite hard to break. And the habit of studying last minute for a Math exam did not work in this case. My apologies Teacher Cris, Teacher Smile, and Teacher Ed. I have failed you all. </3
When we received our grades for the first exam I also happened to be floored with the results, because I’m pretty sure that from a scale of the floor to the ceiling being lowest to highest (respectively), my grade was just as floored as I was. HAHAHAHAHA-HA-HA.
NOW. Tomorrow we have the second long exam coming up and I am in a state of sheer panic. I’ve been studying my butt off for the past two days, but I can’t seem to get any of the answers right at this point. And this is Math 11. PETICS, I TELL YOU. Here in the Philippines, “petics” is supposed to be the “chicken” equivalent. You all have no idea how frustrated I am. :( Back in highschool, I was one of the students my classmates would go to so that I could help them understand Math problems, and now I’m here, barely getting anything. Needless to say, I am VERY discouraged.
Moving on…. While I was studying, I decided to take a little break to read the Bible, and God lead me to the story of Noah. At first, I saw no connection between The Flood and my failing-Math-11 predicament, but God is sooo amazing!
Here’s what I wrote in my journal:
Scripture: Genesis 6-9:1-17
It’s funny how God found only one man righteous amidst all the men of the world. What amazed me so much was the fact that Noah did EVERYTHING the way God wanted him to (Gen. 7:5, “Noah did everything as the Lord commanded him”). That isn’t easy! Not at all. I find myself constantly at war with my way and God’s way, too many times. But here, you can really see how God values those who are faithful. Just like the way the heavens rejoice when one soul is saved (Luke 15:7, “…there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”), God was willing to spare one man. Also the way a shepherd goes off to save the one sheep that happened to wander off (Matt. 18:12, “If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?”). AMAZING! God is interested in me even if it’s just me against the stress of having “everyone else” there. :)
Okay. So. God knows I have the HUGEST exam coming up tomorrow, and I’m frightened. Because I failed the first one. :( And I don’t want to have to drop Math. I invested too much time in it already. And… it’s Math 11, Lord! So, this passage brings me lots of comfort. Because I know now that God is interested in the business of saving, in this case: my grades. Haha! And I know that He’ll save me, even if I am just me…
BUT. I’ve got to do my part [just like Noah did], and that is: to STUDY and study well. Not while chatting with people on Facebook. Haha. I particularly liked Genesis 9:14 which says,
“When I (God) send clouds over the earth, the rainbow will appear in the clouds.”
It’s like God told me flat out that the good stuff (a.k.a. the rainbow), only comes after working hard/putting your butt in it (a.k.a. rain).
Lord, I want to get good grades. I want to stop settling for “pwede na” (meaning: that will do; mediocrity). Please help me as I drown myself in studying for my Math 11 Long Exam 2. And I ask that You graciously reward me for my effort. But whatever Your will may be, I WILL SEE that RAINBOW. :)
And, so I shall. To further explain the last sentence of my prayer, I mean to praise God whether I pass or fail. At least I know I did my part. I will leave everything else up to God. Please pray for me as I endure this cloudy weather! My exam is tomorrow morning, 7-9am. Heehee! Thank you all! It would mean the world to me! :)
Okay. Break’s over! Time to get back to studying….